Merry Christmas bloggers :)

hey guys :)
Sorry it's been a while, been busy with it being Christmas just around the corner and all.
So get this, I have been doing online dating! Been trying to find someone special and getting over 'you know who'... It's difficult. Both trying to find someone and getting over the person you have been in..... love *retches in corner* with for the past year and trying to remain friends.


I read something that made me chuckle recently:

Man in Iowa hits wife with a McDonalds Chicken burger because he doesn't like them.

I don't get it!!! If you don't like something in a restaurant or a fast food joint you don't order it!!!!

So a guy came on the train with a machete recently. Don't know why, think he just felt like it, can't deny the fact that it was terrifying... think I showed a reasonable reaction by getting off at the next stop :')

I really don't know what else to say, just thought I'd update to let you guys know I was alive still ;D

See you later ^.^

You may always find reasons to hurt me but my heart will always find ways to forgive you....

He doesn't get it. Why I message him so much. It's not because I'm desperate, it's just, I miss him sometimes you know? He's my best friend. In my heart I wish there may even be a little more then that, but I know it can never be... he would never want me in that way and it is blatantly clear... it's so clear it hurts.

I do message him a lot, but it's just because when he messages me I smile. I rarely smile these days, I fake smile, but when he messages me I feel warmth. However he calls me persistent. I'm sure it's not a bad thing, but after the number of times he says it I'm worried he thinks I'm an unstable, clingy, emotional child. I have issues... but when I talk to him or even be with him they almost seem to melt away.

But I can't let my heart get in the way of things because it's either going to be broken again or it's going to cause a lot of trouble. I mean he has a girlfriend! but he says he let his head make the decision for him and ignored his heart.... However as much as I would like to believe I have a shot with him, I don't. I know I don't.... He likes someone else and I can see it... I even tried to be like her in the chances that he may like me better as a friend, I don't want to lose him.... that's the last thing I want... but all chances of thinking a dream and a simple minded fantasy could become reality are useless. Life isn't a movie. Someone falling for their best friend isn't a good thing no matter what anyone says.... It doesn't matter though because I'm not good enough for him anyway....

I can't let go. It drives me insane, but I find it almost impossible to go a day without speaking to him.
It's infuriating... *sigh*

Peace out bloggers,
Irish_Heart605

A little about me & this blog

Ok, so this blog is for whenever I feel like writing to be honest. Expect a lot of random posts from this blog like recipes, rants, my 'moments' (I'll explain another time) and reviews and just other random stuff that I myself find interesting.

I am a 17 year old girl from the UK, I got depression and my teacher thinks i got Borderline personality disorder which is a new one to hear. Usually i get mistaken for having Bipolar type 1 or type 2. So my moments are when the depression gets to me...
I am studying Media in a local college and am enjoying it, however get days where i wish i could just stay at home. I watch too much anime, play too many video games and have no social life besides hanging out with my 29 year old best friend where again we watch too much anime, go to the pub, or have naps. But none the less he is the best friend I have ever had and is a privilege knowing him but for ethical reasons will not put his real name on here, but check out his blog! He doesn't post much but it's a very good read. Just type in 'The Gentleman Wordsmith' on Google and click on the one with the blogspot link. Knowing that my social and love life is a complete and utter train wreck i spend my time making birds and butterflies out of paper, go to the pub, or try really hard and be social in my local drama group, or simply write and draw.

Anyway that will do it for introductions.

Speak to you soon,

Irish_Heart605